Getting motivated is sometimes easy enough to do, at least
for short periods of time, but staying motivated can be a
lot harder to do.
And when you add into the mix the presence of negative
people it is really not surprising that your motivation can
fizzle out despite your best intentions.
What can you do?
1. Do Not Discuss Your Dreams with Negative People
Only share your hopes, dreams and goals with people who
will be supportive of your plans. Making your dreams come
true is like tending to a garden.
You have to give the plants the nutrients, water and
sunlight they need to grow i.e. for you this means - the
resources, mental focus and energy to create something new.
And you have to pay constant attention to weeding and
eradicating bugs that will over run your garden if you are
not vigilant. i.e. protect your dreams from negative people
by not exposing your plans to their toxic words and
thoughts.
2. When You Get Stuck Seek Advice from People Who Can Help
Very often when you get stuck you will turn to whoever is
nearby for encouragement and advice. This can be a big
mistake if that person has no vision and a limited sense of
possibility.
Only ask for advice from people who are qualified to help
you. When you act on good advice you know you are doing the
right things and staying motivated will be easy.
Whereas when someone with no relevant knowledge or no sense
of possibility advises you it makes sense to be unmotivated.
Why take action on bad advice? Why even try if that person
cannot see things working out?
Avoid this negative world view by carefully deciding who to
get advice from.
3. Switch Off Your Own Negative Thoughts
Negative thoughts can be like a virus that just keeps on
spreading. If people around you are negative it is only
normal for you to lose a little of your own enthusiasm and
drive.
You may even start to have a few nagging negative thoughts
of you own.
Be careful!
One such negative thought leads to another, and another…
You need to switch off these negative thoughts ASAP or else
your motivation will fizzle away to nothing.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a
very popular free report that reveals how to crush procrastination and
sustain lasting motivation. Apply now because it is available for a limited
time only at: http://www.getmotivatedstaymotivated.com/special.htm
Hotel Grotta di Tiberio, recently opened four stars hotel has splendid panoramic view, wide garden, swimming pool with hydro massage, solarium, parking. Situated 800 meters from the inhabited centre and 250 meters from the beach, it offers the opportunity of relax enjoying the vicinity to the ancient Villa of roman emperor Tiberio and at the national Archaeological Museum. Rooms are modernly furnished with elements of design of the Modern Rationalist period. Build with Mediterranean style, modern but at the same time simple in lines and colours.
The Hotel Grotta di Tiberio lies down at the feet of the hill at few hundreds meters from Sperlonga. Small medieval village on the slopes of the Mount San Magno. The candid white colour of the structure realized in the respect of the Mediterranean shapes, guards the emotion that the sea and the sky give constantly with their natural show. From the veranda, where breakfast, buffet lunch and dinner (at swimming pool borders) are served, the look embraces all the landscape, from the ancient town on the slopes of the Mount San Magno to the Pontine Islands at the horizon, until Tiberio’s Villa. Walking with barefoot on the fresh green, bathing in the swimming pool, relaxing in the hydro massage corner and laying down with a fresh drink in the shadow of olive or palms trees, are simple gestures that give your five senses a pleasant feeling of soothed serenity.
From the veranda, where are served breakfast, the buffet lunch and the dinner (at swimming pool borders), the look embraces all the landscape, from the ancient town on the slopes of the Mount San Magno to the Pontine Islands at the horizon, until the Tiberio’s Villa. Our veranda restaurant is open at lunch for a buffet and at dinner for a menu withlocal produce and recipes, from our chef.
The Hotel Grotta di Tiberio receives its customers with its 28 rooms Standards, Plus Standards, Superior and Executive that defer for the dimension and the availability of balcony or garden. All fitted with air conditioned, SAT TV LCD, direct telephone. Some rooms are for disabled and the structure is for them, totally useful. The Hotel has moreover bar with TV LCD corner, open restaurant with veranda, reception with Internet point.
Planning a trip to Italy? The top 3 destinations in Italy are Rome, Venice and Florence; for example, in order to make it easy to find an hotel in Rome, you can have a look at our advanced search. Simple as 1-2-3, the same method can be applied to find guided tours in Naples, or to compare price for different hotels in Palermo, from bed and breakfast to Hotels.
The mobile telephone, an idea which has now been around for and assessable for ages. Its seen its technology grow and move forward from something that was purely & effortlessly a cell phone, to nowadays something amazing that comes with an MP3 or maybe a digital camera or in fact both. All this is what the current generation of today is probing for. The more electrifying devices which can be found incorporated among it the even more individuals require the model. The new most well liked hand-set at the moment seems to be the wonderful iphone. Produced by Apple, it is top of the line, its an iPod & mobile phone. Consequently if you’re a follower of technology then this is certainly the exact hand set for you. Compare Mobile Phones and save money with Mobile Shop.
The cellular handset is also known as a wireless or maybe a mobile telephone. Although cell cell phones have taken over our current society they have been all over for several decades, in some style or perhaps another. The cell hand set business persists to go up and get bigger by leaps and bounds as it has in the past few months. Even though it went ahead little more than 20 years ago. Owners have produced an abundance of new gizmos that keep mobile cell users returning back for extra. They go on each and every day to grow the assortment of capabilities & services to accommodate the rising demands, of what these days, on the go civilisation want.
There are also many types of networks. The recent leading & most in style types are Orange, T-Mobile, and Vodafone. These days folk can opt whether people wish for to own the cell contract on pay as you go or maybe a on an actual contract. Contract cells are normally the most sought after class of contract & with it it means the greater part of the time you do not take to pay for a state of the art new cell, it in general comes free among the package. Mobile cellular’s on contract give you the most adaptable selection in regards to how people handle it, there is a vast decision located in the varieties of contracts possible to customers. All that makes it exceptionally painless for you to pick a contract which is fitting for your requests and how you manage it.
Throughout the many pages of scores of motivational books, with the Bible being at the forefront, we are encouraged to “not give up.” We are told to believe that we can come through any situation and be victorious in life. Ask yourself this question: Am I up-beat or am I beat-up?
Focus On Winning!
No matter what you are going through, set your focus on the winning side. Understand that winning is a process, not an event; because just as soon as one challenge is over, you’ll be faced with another one.
We are constantly in the process of being victorious, or deciding to quit. Oh… Ugly word. You notice I didn’t say we are in the process of winning or failing. No no. We are not designed to fail. We are designed to win, win, win!
I can hear someone now, “well, why do I always end up as lucky as the only man in a women’s prison with a fist full of pardons? Because somewhere along the road you have developed a quitters mindset. Now, don’t get mad at me, stay with me.
Quit Like A Bad Habit!
I didn’t say, you always quit, or, that you always lose. But, there is a mind-set that can become so subtle, that it will cause us to focus on the fear of failure or quitting. If a person is plagued with this mind-set, he will waffle back and forth between the fear of failure and quitting constantly.
Why? Well, because neither one is really what his heart wants to do. He really doesn’t want to choose to do either one. Down deep inside he knows he was created to win. But, circumstances seem to always get him barking up the wrong tree for a bone.
He knows he has the qualities to become every thing in life he desires to be. Audibly, he may say, “he’s dumber than a bag of hammers.” In his heart he knows that’s not true.
Between The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea!
But, there always seems to be a demon or some gremlin that wants to eat his lunch. Consequently, as time goes along, he develops a mind-set of quitting and failure. He just becomes beat-up!
Then there develops an emotion inside him that just says, “Whatever”. And, then the baptism of fire in his belly burns out like day old ashes. Once this happens, the series of failures and times of quitting become every day occurrences till you finally hear him saying, “Frankly Scarlet, I don’t give a da**.”
He becomes very unhappy with himself but doesn’t know how to turn it around. So, his life becomes a cycle of ups and downs, mostly downs. Without that fire of desire, he loses his passion. Without a passion, he has no focus, goal, or reason to live.
Pull Yourself Up By The Boot Straps!
At one time or another we are all faced with obstacles and challenges that look like they’re going to bust our chops. The unfortunate thing is; usually life will not turn the circumstances around on its own.
Therefore, we can sometimes find ourselves on the back side of the desert for long periods of time before something happens to turn the tide. And, usually the tide turns only when we take the initiative and rid ourselves of the fear of failure and that quitting mind-set.
Failure and quitting are not options for us. Let me qualify something here and now. Listen to this closely. Failure is not an event that kills the project and then all our efforts cease. Failure is an attitude. That is why we can be failing even before the result is in.
Now That’s What I Call Jury Rigged!
An example: Failure is like being convicted by a jury before they have reached a verdict. That can’t happen. But, we conduct our affairs like that’s exactly what is happening. We walk like we are failing, we talk like we are failing, and we even look like we are failing. So, what happens? Yep, you guessed it.
Winning is also an attitude. Our attitude should always be; “no matter what happens, I win!” Did you know, and get this too; you can walk like you’re winning, you can talk like you’re winning, and you can look like you’re winning the whole time you’re waiting on your victory? And, would you like to know what happens if you do? Yep, you guessed it.
The point is this: The results follow the prevalent attitude; not the other way around. The results follow whatever attitude is dominant. Winning results follow a winning attitude. Failing results follow a failing attitude.
Take A Licking And Keep On Ticking!
Does that mean that everything always happens the way I want it too. No of course not. But, listen to this; don’t ever develop the attitude that says; “this must go the way I planned or it is considered a failure.” No, no, no!
Consider your own life. There will be many things that did not turn out the way you wanted and planned, but in the end, they still were the best thing for you at the time.
I heard many stories of people that were supposed to be at work at the World Trade Center on 9/11. But, something happened, that they thought was “terrible” at the moment, but that “terrible” event caused them to miss work that day. Ummm… Was that a failure? I don’t think so!
The point is this: No matter what happens, we play till I win! We must keep playing. We are not playing a nine inning ball game here. This is life. Three strikes do not mean you are out. It’s my ball, it’s my glove, it’s my bat, I’m the umpire and we play till I win!
Here’s The Real Deal!
It’s an attitude! Say that ten times! Winning is an attitude. And, get this; who says when the jury brings the verdict in that I have to accept it if I don’t like it? Whom? Remember this is life.
There is no time limit for our circumstances except for death. And unfortunately, death is terminal. So, as long as we have breath of life in our body, we have the opportunity to win and ignore the option of quitting. We may not like the looooong time it takes, but there is no clock running out on us.
Richard Vegas ©
About the Author
Richard Vegas is a popular recording artist and internet marketing professional. He invites you to subscribe to his FREE weekly ezine “Wing-Tips” Teaching. The Success System That Never Fails, at: http://www.1-work-at-home-based-business-opportunities.com. You may also hear some of Richard’s free music at: http://www.richardvegas.com.
webmaster@1-work-at-home-based-business-opportunities.com
Every bride wants a fairytale wedding. Therefore, this article is to try and minimize problems that may occur during a wedding reception. Listed below are the more common mistakes made by brides and grooms during your wedding reception. We will tell you what to do!
Don’t leave early. Your guests came from near and far to see you on your wedding day. Not staying the whole time of the reception would be a slap in the face. This will be the only time most of your family and friends will be able to see you as you will be very busy with last minute preparations the days leading up to the wedding.
Setup all the tables. Your wedding vendors will need to know where to set-up. Be sure there is a table for the wedding cake, music entertainment, catered food, sign-in near the entrance, gift table, tables and chairs for all your guests to eat and any other tables you may have planned for specialty items.
Preplan with your vendors a day or two before the wedding. Be sure all your wedding vendors know exactly what you want. Clarify times and location so you don’t need to worry about them.
Don’t arrive late to the reception. It is customary that guests do not start eating until the bride and groom start the food line. Be sure to get as many of your pictures taken BEFORE the wedding. There are many ways to accomplish this. One is to have the entire bride’s family pictures taken. Then, have the bride return to the dressing room. Next, take pictures of the groom and his family as guests can see the groom before the wedding. This way you will not compromise the groom seeing the bride before the wedding. Therefore, all that is left after the ceremony are pictures of the happy couple.
Don’t seat the young at heart directly in front of the music entertainment. Older generations are at a wedding typically to socialize with their family and friends. If they cannot hear each other talk, an unhappy situation may occur. So, if by choice, seat the young at heart near the wedding party but away from the entertainer’s speakers.
Don’t have one particular type of music. There are many different types of people in the world. And yes, they include your family and friends. For example, the bride and groom may love country music. It doesn’t mean you have to play country music the whole night. There is a lot of celebration music besides what you like.
Start the food line or meal as soon as possible. Guests plan their meal times the day of your wedding around your reception. Guest will not eat a big meal before your wedding because they know they will be eating at your reception. Don’t starve them.
Know what it will cost you if the reception goes into overtime. Ask the reception facility exactly how long you have the hall to rent and what time you must be out. Please allow time for cleanup if you are the ones doing it. What is the overtime charge for the facility, music entertainment, photography, etc?
Greet and say hello to all your guests. Finally and most importantly, greet all your guests. Make an effort to have a conversation with each and every person. They are there to celebrate your marriage. Give them the common courtesy of thanking them for coming to your wedding.
Don’t get drunk and obnoxious. Keep in mind the only time brides and grooms eat during the wedding day rituals are at the wedding reception. There’s not much food in your stomach and alcohol will affect you much faster. Try and eat throughout the day and watch how much you drink. You want your guests to remember how beautiful the bride looked, not how you acted.
About the Author
About The Author: Matt Campbell is the owner and webmaster for Weddingmuseum.com. Weddingmuseum.com is a place to plan, book and rate your wedding day. You can email him at matt@weddingmuseum.com or visit http://www.WeddingMuseum.com
How strong are you?
I’m not asking if you can carry 150 lbs. of weight. What I’m
after is your strength of character. How resilient are you to
hang on to your dreams amidst the raging forces of discouragement
and criticisms?
There are far too many individuals who never get to experience
the joy of attaining their desires because other people’s
influence has significantly (and sometimes negatively) affected
their crucial decisions.
Are there instances in your life when other people said that
you should not continue your plans because they’re never gonna
work? What did you do? Did you continue your endeavors or did
you just follow their command?
If you always adhere to other’s beliefs and opinions even though
they are contrary to yours, you’re just torturing yourself. It’s
like you don’t have a mind of your own. You’re like a shadow
following the moves of someone else.
You may listen to other people’s advices, but never let them
control you. If their advices would contribute to your
success and well being, then by all means follow them. But
if they would hinder you and stray you away from what you
really want in life, then you’ve got to make a stand and
pursue your heart’s aspirations.
Sure there would be criticisms. But if you always avoid
them, then you will never be truly happy.
As one famous person said, “There is a sure way to avoid
criticisms, be nothing and do nothing. This remedy never
fails.” True enough.
Take my case.
When I was in first year college, my dad wanted me to shift
my course to Physical Therapy because it was in demand in the
United States at that time. But I wanted to continue my
studies in Accountancy. I remained firm with my decision
and after some negotiations they finally gave in.
Then there’s my love life. Chinese tradition states that
Chinese people marry their own kind. (No offense) But I fell
madly in love with this Filipino girl. Despite all the
criticisms, discouragement, and harsh words (pardon me), I
defended my love for her. Right now we’re going strong and
my relatives have respected my decision.
You see, if I have given up easily in any of the two scenarios,
I would’ve deprived myself of joy and contentment in my life.
Sometimes other people’s words would cut like a knife. But
never be disheartened. Listen to the voice inside of you.
We will never be able to satisfy everybody because each of
us is unique. We have our own distinct traits and values.
Respect for each other’s opinions should be upheld.
With that said, I would like to leave this final message that
sums it all up. Follow your heart and happiness will follow.
Michael Lee is a Certified Public Accountant. He
has written a FR33 report entitled “7 Extremely
Powerful Steps To Get What You Want.” Experience
the life-changing power. Send a blank email.
mailto:powersteps@freeautobot.com
DESIRE, DISCIPLINE & DEDICATION
———————————————————— copyright (c) Pavel Lenshin ————————————————————
Somewhere I read an instructive speculation about exceptional role that dedication or perseverance as well as desire play in any self-made entrepreneur’s life.
Indeed. There are many smart people out there with a diploma or even two, yet very few of them have reached their life goals. On the contrary, the dominating share of those outstanding people very often represent middle or even lower middle class, being teachers of some country school or low paid consultants.
The same, if not more, is true with many unordinary talented people, who happened to lead a secluded life far from money and fame. Sadly to say, but those people of art are usually recognized after their death only.
So what character features are important to succeed if it is not for talent or education? What features many of those gifted people lack in their youth in order to prove their talent, become famous worldwide and be recognized during their lifetime, not after?
One can say money or some authority power. It is true, but partially. While a person, especially the one, who lives in authoritarian society can get almost anything s/he wants with the help of a bureaucratic and corrupted political power or substantial financial support, several objection exists. The first one is that power as well as money is not endless and eternal, and it is impossible to save a sinking (for any reason) boat with several dip-buckets forever. Secondly, the success achieved that way is more likely to be a gift that might have been given to any man or woman, but not a personal achievement, so, as we see, the crucial role here is not played by a third party support as well.
Some people truly believe it to be luck. Many times we have heard from those people something similar to: “it is not my day” or “just my luck!”. They got used to blame everything and everybody, but themselves in the lack of fortune, instead of understanding the simple truth, that luck is what we think and do.
Negative thoughts and disbelief accompanied with absence of desire to do anything will get “bad day” and “no luck” in 99 out of 100. On the other hand, positive thinking, i.e. strong will to reach the goal, dedication and persistent action will break any obstacle on the way you move. You may or may not happen to meet people, who will greatly assist you and it is a normal life flow, there is no direct mathematical order, but if you are left completely alone it is not a reason to complain of the luck or money absence, bad weather or horoscope.
From now on you know what is the answer for question about features of successful entrepreneur. In short it is desire, discipline & dedication in your strive to succeed. These 3Ds will make you or break you.
You may even fail in doing business for a number of reasons - wrong product, bad marketing plan, financial losses etc. - but still entrepreneur with a dedication to succeed will stand up and start a new venture, no matter how hard it will be. You may really fail when you stop moving ahead only. The rest is useless excuses. Skepticism and pessimism are unable to fetch you the life of your dreams. Success is achieved by systematic active deeds that are offsprings of strong desire, dedication and discipline.
Very few people are eligible to run offline business, having endless enthusiasm and blind dedication. The majority of us don’t have required features, so what should we do?
The beauty of the Internet is that it brought the whole business straight to your armchair. It cannot be easier to run private business with the existence of the Internet. It is like playing simulator games, with the only difference is that there are real people, real relations and real money. That is why online business makes it accessible for any “lazy-bone” like me to succeed and brings five times more pleasure and excitement than any game can.
Don’t miss that fantastic, once in a lifetime opportunity.
————————————————————
Pavel Lenshin is a publisher of NET Business Magazine, professional web-developer and CEO of: - http://ASBONE.com/ - informational portal and provider of discounted internet services for entrepreneurs, including internet access, web-design and hosting; - http://InfoAlchemist.com/ - a must-have business library.
Rally driving courses and experience days are the perfect gift for the more adventurous people on your holiday gift list. The question is, what and where are these courses available?Rally driving courses exist in a wide range at the top driving schools in the U.K.
This range includes the usual half-day course to an intensive one on one course which includes tution that could even result in the person taking up the sport for hobby of the new profession.
The ultimate present is provided in the form of a gift certificate system that is unique to each rally driving school. This is the most common type of services offered. Before buying see the expiry date and ensure that they offer the right type of driving that will suit the gift recipient. Rally driving days is the ability to get behind the wheel of fully-equipped rally sports car, tackle various terrains not limited to dirt and gravel as well as through forest tracks.
While participating in this rally driving skill course, the driver will be instructed in: various tricks and maneuvers, over-steer, skids, under-steer, handbrake turns, and power slides. The circuits have been made to give you the best driving possible. Many sports cars are available at each and every different driving school.
Check out some great driving experiences at Experience Days Gifts.
Getting organized is hard. If it weren’t, we wouldn’t put it off until it got even harder. There are hundreds of books out there on how to get organized; they have ideas on how to work in your garage, in your living room, in your mind, in your job. They offer every sort of idea for every sort of situation… but you know what happens to most of those books? They end up in the middle of some pile on our disorganized tables and desks.
What we need is some simple, applicable ideas and systems that we can start applying today. Here are my suggestions that I’ve come up with after working with all different sorts of clients and situations.
First of all, get an ‘information assistant’ (IA) that you can carry with you throughout your day. A paper-based daily planner, a personal digital assistant (PDA) like a Palm Pilot, or even a simple notebook where you keep everything written down (those are harder to keep organized, but don’t think you need to spend a bunch of money on this tool).
Once you have that IA, use it. Have it be your calendar, your address book, your notebook, your reference page, your task list. Use it every day, and keep it up to date. I now always recommend a digital solution (like a Palm) if you already have a computer as these are much easier to keep updated, and are generally easier to carry around. I love that I can carry mine in the breast pocket of my sports coat. I used to have a paper planner, but I’d never take it with me in the evenings. Kind of hard to ‘hit the town’ with a notebook under your arm. More importantly, more and more of our lives are connected to the internet, and this flood of information will only grow. In addition, the data on a PDA can be backed up almost instantly, so if you lose it, there’s no loss of information.
It takes a bit of time to get used to these tools, and of course you run into problems setting them up. It’s a bit like a computer… Once there’s one on your desk, it’s all set up and you know how to use it, you get a lot done… but it took a while to get used to it. Plan on learning how to use your PDA so you’re not fumbling around with it.
Now that your information is organized, let’s look at the other important aspects of getting organized. Look around your office or home: what disorganized stuff is bugging you? If there’s one particular room, or corner, or drawer that really bothers you, tackle that now. Try to deal with this one space until it’s cleared, but if you can’t finish in one or two hours, don’t worry, just come back to it again, until you’ve got that biggest ‘monkey’ off your back. Once you feel the lightness from that, you will be more ready to tackle the next one.
How do you tackle that spot? By applying two main rules to each and every piece of paper or stuff: (1) If it takes less than two minutes to deal with (to file it, to act on it, or to trash it), do it now. If it takes longer than two minutes to deal with, “contain” that project (meaning file/box it), and put it on your calendar to deal with it in the next week. (2) If you haven’t used it in over a year, toss it.
An example of this might be a crafts table, piled high with craft ideas, old mail, maybe a couple of shoe boxes of photos. (Sounds sort of familiar to many of us, doesn’t it?) Well, for example, take those photos, put them in a container that they just fit in, and put on your task list/calendar a time when you will get to that project. Now, you’ll probably not find the 7 hours you’ll need to put those photos in order all in one block, so plan on spreading that project out over time. Keep going through that pile using these two ‘golden rules’ of organizing.
The first step for ‘tomorrow’, Day 2: Managing time.
A great way to figure out ‘where the time goes’ is to spend a day tracking where you spend your time. You’ll be surprised at how much of that day is spent on things you didn’t expect. Your work can be full of interruptions, distractions, problems, moments of relaxation, etc. Try to keep track of what you’re doing for one whole day, in 15 minute increments. Do you really intend to spend 3 hours a day responding to email and/or surfing the web?
Set up systems that allow you to focus on your priorities when you want to. Do things such as: Set your email program to only check for email 3 times a day, not every minute. That way you won’t be tempted/bothered when that latest email ‘dings’ into your inbox. Don’t answer the phone. Let the machine get it, and return calls all at once, on your schedule, when you’re ready. Plan an hour in the morning, and an hour in the afternoon. Be smart about messages and emails you do send. Don’t just call back and say, “yes, let’s talk about that”.. Say, “Yes, let’s talk. I’d like to follow up on point A before we talk, and if you could handle point B and just CC me on the email, that’d be great. Call me back at either 4pm Tuesday or 11am Wed.” In other words, move the conversation along, and give others options to choose from that work for you.
Step Two for Day Two: Setting priorities and scheduling review
We’ve all heard about setting goals and breaking them down into manageable, achievable chunks… Now it’s time to prioritize those chunks and get them on the calendar. Then add a weekly review onto that calendar so you can look back at what you did in the last week, and what you’ll do in the next week to meet those goals.
The big issue disorganized folks have is that they work really hard to get organized, then in a couple of days or weeks, it’s all back to normal, and those great goals and lists are buried. A solution might be to share your weekly priorities with a friend or colleague who will hold you accountable… And you do the same for them. (You could make a bet that if one of you doesn’t get through your list, you have to buy dinner that week.)
Setting priorities and sticking to them is really hard for all of us. This is why organizational tools that spread your ‘core’ values into your everyday consciousness are such good organizational tools. Steven Covey’s ‘Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’, the Franklin Planner’s goals and values process, and it’s why I suggest looking at your long term goals at least once a week during your weekly review. You need that reminder on a regular basis.
And the next day: Future steps.
As your systems start to fall into place, and you start to feel the benefits of getting organized, build on that momentum and start looking at what your overall life goals are, and what influences you. When you start working smarter and more effectively, you have to ask yourself what you’re going to do with the extra time? Are you going to work more to accomplish more? Or do you want to take that time to do something else? You certainly haven’t become more organized just so you can do more sitting in front of the TV have you?
Where do we look for models of how we want to live once we get the clutter out of our way? The following three cultural influences can be excellent guides for helping us focus our goals.
Zen and martial arts
As you gain mastery over your time and your ’stuff’, look to become a master of whatever you do. The cultural precepts of most Asian martial arts, from Tai Chi to Kung fu closely follow precepts of Zen philosophy. As I attempt to understand what they’re about, I read it as ‘practice what you do until you can do it effortlessly, automatically. Do it in a reverent, loving way. Once you have mastered that action, move on to the next level, and focus again, on the present action.’ Once you see the connection between your focus, clarity and the need for a clutter free, prepared environment, you will not want to move back to the old ways of distraction and stress again.
American ‘Can Do’ digital age
There’s always a better way to do things, and American culture is always trying to invent it. There’s much in the American way that can distract you from your new-found organization, like consumerism and greed… But you can also use this influence to always be looking at how to bring more efficiency to all your projects. Is there a paperless way to do what you have in mind? Do you need to carry all that computer equipment? Can we do a ‘virtual meeting’ instead? Adaptation and absorption is the norm in American society… Use this opportunity to do more in less time.
La Dolce Vita
The Mediterranean culture has long had a handle on ‘the sweet life’. From Morocco to Jordan they have always prized time with family, time for art, music, food, for life. Italians are aghast when they learn Americans only get two weeks of vacation… Turks struggle to understand how American male friends don’t spend time together discussing politics, art, and relationships… A two hour lunch with your family on a workday is not an indulgence, it’s expected. Let the Mediterranean culture influence your new found time. Focus on life, and living, not simply working more.
The goal of looking at these different important influences as you look to get your life organized is to create a *lifestyle*, a way of living that allows you to focus on what’s important, to do more, grow more, and to live better. Get started today.
About the Author
Tys Sniffen, Founder of Idea Mountain, has helped hundreds of individuals and small businesses deal with what’s slowing them down. Working nationally, he consults both in person and ‘virtually’ with clients to help them be more organized, work better, and get more out of life. Please visit www.ideamountain.com for more information, or call 415-606-7746
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Winning My Battle With Anxiety
I was very outgoing as a child. I’d put on plays in front of my parents, sing to records and put on shows. I was like that all through both elementary school and high school. Nothing scared me and my aspirations were high.
I began college as a Theater major and switched midstream to a Communications major. I pictured myself as the next big ‘News Anchor’. I’d even auditioned at the Connecticut School of Broadcasting, impromptu, and got accepted.
At the age of twenty, during my sophomore year in college, I lost most of the sight in my left eye. To say I was frightened is an understatement. I was terrified. But, I handled it like a trooper, even on those nights when I was alone in the hospital not knowing what was wrong with me. When family visited, I appeared strong. At night, I cried alone.
Shortly after I got out of the hospital I went to see a stage production of “Fiddler on the Roof”. I remember it well because that was the first of many, many terrifying experiences. It was when I had my first anxiety attack.
During the show, my heart began racing so fast I thought I was dying. My chest constricted and I couldn’t get enough air. I hyper-ventilated. The more I panicked, the worse it got. I ran up the isle of the theater and headed straight for the phone. I needed to talk to my parents. I didn’t know why, but their voices were what I needed to hear. I thought I was going crazy.
Immediately, my doctor was contacted to see if any of the medications I was given for my detached retina were the cause. The answer was no. I was told to go home and lay down.
The subject wasn’t brought up again, but I suffered the attacks in agonizing silence.
About seven months after my loss of site, I was out with my fiancé, (at the time). Suddenly, I couldn’t see with BOTH eyes open. My heart began to race again as we rushed to the hospital. By the time we arrived, my verbal and motor skills were gone and the entire left side of my body was numb. You could have cut off my left arm and I wouldn’t have felt it. I was screaming inside but when the nurse asked me to describe what I was feeling, all I could get out was, “Bah, Ah.” I couldn’t form any words, (although I knew what I wanted to say), and I thought for certain that either I was having a stroke or was going to die of a brain tumor.
Well, fortunately, I was diagnosed with what’s called a “classic migraine”, which impairs verbal and motor skills. I regained those in about twenty minutes and then I got the worst headache I’d ever had in my life. The doctor said it was stress induced. It hasn’t happened since, thank God.
And that was that.
As time went by my attacks came in cycles. They subsided for some time while in college, but shortly after I got married they seemed to come “out of the blue”. Not often, but each time they were frightening. I didn’t know then what I know now, and as I reflect back, I can see where I literally talked myself into a worse frenzy.
I didn’t have the courage to seek any help. I thought this was something I just had to live with. I’d been examined by doctors for my eye and for the classic migraine and all of the test results said I was just fine.
So, I went on with my life.
At 25 I suffered a miscarriage. The baby didn’t abort itself, it died in my womb and the doctors had to remove it. I was sixteen weeks pregnant at the time. When I got home from the hospital, I wanted to grieve, but my husband, (at the time), and I were on different wavelengths. He thought I should get on with it and over it, and I just couldn’t let go of my loss or my grief. That’s when my anxiety attacks came back with a vengeance. I had heart palpitations that were so frightening I thought I’d have a heart attack. I worked for a ski area and commuted to New Hampshire, many times driving several hours alone, on weekends and suffered some horrific anxiety attacks while driving. He, (my ex-husband), didn’t really understand what was going on with me or sympathize very much. I can’t blame him for not understanding it, but it didn’t make it easier.
I kept it inside. And it festered.
At the age of twenty seven my husband and I split up. My anxiety attacks grew worse and worse until it almost got to the point where I couldn’t function. But, I forced myself to. I went to work, I drove even when my hands were so numb I couldn’t feel them, and I talked to people when inside it took every ounce of strength I had to appear “normal”. It was exhausting.
I was petrified. I couldn’t eat alone for fear I’d choke. I couldn’t eat in restaurants for fear of embarrassment. I’d stare at a plate of food and literally be starving — unable to get it down.
The advent of my divorce really was the catalyst to my first encounter with professional help. What originally was to be marriage counseling turned out to be individual talk therapy. I knew my marriage was over, but the anxiety needed to be dealt with and this proved to be the beginning of my journey.
Adjusting after the divorce along with dealing with my anxiety attacks was quite challenging. It was very multi-layered. I found that talk therapy helped. Not just with the divorce, but with the anxiety.
The talk therapy ended after about a year and a half when my therapist moved to another state. However, the knowledge and insight I gained was invaluable and put me on the path to recovery.
In the years that passed, I had my bouts with anxiety. I did extensive research on the subject and read countless self help books. I was always reaching for more answers; for more assurance. As a result, I knew better how to deal with the attacks. The negative self talk and the fear of loss of control diminished as I developed the ability to handle the attacks with my mind by gently talking my way through them.
They didn’t completely go away, however.
In 1996 I met my fiancé. One of the biggest challenges he helped me to meet, unknowingly, was facing my anxiety. He is a pilot and on one of our very first dates, he surprised me with a trip to the airport to take his plane for a flight.
As my heart raced madly, (for I’d never been on a smaller plane), I decided to face my fear. That flight was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever experienced. Had I succumbed to my fear, I would never have seen the beautiful moon and stars on that clear and magical night. That taught me a wonderful lesson. I was stronger than my anxiety. I just needed to draw upon my strength.
In 1997 I went to a new primary doctor for severe intestinal pain. Upon examination, she told me that I had a stomach condition caused by Chronic Anxiety Disorder. She had only a brief idea of my history. But, after several questions, etc., she wisely came to her diagnosis. It was then that I began some more talk therapy, on her advise, and started taking a small amount of medicine, called Klonopin, to relieve some of the symptoms of anxiety.
In 1997 I became the lead singer of a wedding band. During my audition my anxiety got so bad that I could feel my knees knocking and my lips were tingling! Try singing like that! But, somehow I made it through and got in. There was more than one “gig” where I’d feel my hands and mouth get “tingly” and my legs would begin to buckle. But, I went on and made myself do it. I think that it pushed me further into discovering my own inner strength. If I could handle an anxiety attack in front of three hundred people, (and believe me, it wasn’t easy as I clung to the microphone stand to hold me up), then I could conquer this!
In the years that have passed, I have continued my research on anxiety. I still read many books dealing with the subject and put into practice many of the psychological things that help keep anxiety attacks at bay and/or under control.
I no longer use talk therapy, but what I learned in the process will stay with me forever.
It’s not a battle that’s won overnight, although the disorder seems to appear overnight. The road is long, and there are many ways to effectively treat anxiety. I think the most important things in helping a sufferer of anxiety are the support of those who love you, understanding the disorder, the faith that you will overcome it and the knowledge that you are not alone in your struggle.
Believe me, you are not.
© Ellen M. DuBois
Ellen M. DuBois, MA - Ms. DuBois is engaged and has a dog who loves to critique her work. She is published in vol.2 of God Allows U-Turns with her piece, “The Angel in the Dumpster”. She writes to touch the hearts of others. Please visit Writings of the Heart, her award winning writer’s resource site- http://writingsoftheheart.homestead.com/index.html
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